January 2012
2011,
has been one crazy ride after another. graduated, had a baby, got my first job, first tattoo, i might of missed going to college with my classmates but being home and owning up too all my new responsibilities has just help me grow so much. at the same time however it’s destroyed who i was for me to become who i am now. 2011 threw me the most tests of my life and i’m just blessed to say...
December 2011
lately has been
HECTIC ! so much paper work for the welfare // getting my job // family matters.
NICE ! been hanging out with someone, nobody new but creating a new relationship.
LONELY ! missing those who would hold me at night, kiss me when we’d wake, phone calls till we’re both asleep, etc.
EYE OPENING ! i’m getting older and shits changing so fast. i like who i’m...
Anonymous asked: why don't you have another baby but with Ryan this time?
i’ve missed you so terribly.
Cute boy walks by me
Me:
*the one that got away by katy perry plays in background*
i miss you.
i’m listening to the mayday parade. i’m singing along because i know the words. i’m miserable at best. blah blah i don’t want to be lyrically cliche but whatever. not worth it anymore. i shouldn’t talk to you. or bother you. or tell you i miss you because i need to let go. i keep saying i will but everytime you come around and we fuck. yeah there everyone knows. and...
Anonymous asked: why do you stay with the dad if you love the other more?
stupid bitch is stupid.
why the fuck am i awake. why do i think i matter. why the fuck do i think i’m worth it? why am i so stupid. i hate myself. /crying
today has been the best,
since ryan didn’t get to see me last night he came and saw me this evening when i came home. got to cuddle. he mentioned how funny it is we could only hang out normally when we aren’t together. it is a little silly to think it’s a lot nicer to hang out when we aren’t together. maybe just cause there can’t be expectations? oh well it was nice seeing him again~ he got...
Anonymous asked: What if your ex, Ryan was the baby's daddy. Who would you choose to be with: Rafael or Ryan?
He's nice.
He still thinks of me. Bought me chocolates for no reason and might just visit me here now at 12:30AM. How did I ever meet such a sweet guy and pass him to the next girl. Stupid girl. Anyways, I’m just happy he thought of me. It also reminds me of the first time he ever got me something just cause he wanted to.. He had gone with his brothers and dad to Utah and was at a carnival?? Idk but he...
HAWKWARD!!
